Title: Wild & Untamed (38/?)
Fandom: Casey / Zeke
Disclaimer: of course, not mine
Previous parts: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve /thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen / eighteen / nineteen / twenty / twenty-one / twenty-two / twenty-three /twenty-four / twenty-five / twenty-six / twenty-seven / twenty-eight / twenty-nine /thirty / thirty-one /thirty-two / thirty-three / thirty-four / thirty-five / thirty-six / thirty-seven /
This story is written for romeny
He groaned secretly. All he wanted, was to be left alone. The last he wanted was his mom, asking stupid questions. But it was too late. Probably she had waited for him just to make sure that he came back in time. They had given him one hour. One hour to meet Zeke and to explain why he had done what he had done ...
"Yeah, it's me," he called.
A part of him hoped that this would be enough for her, but he knew better. And there she was. She looked at him thoughtfully.
"Yeah! Yeah, sure!"
Of course he couldn't fool her. She was his mom, wasn't she?
"What's happened," she asked, sounding a bit anxious now.
Casey took a deep breath. He could feel it coming. If she didn't let him go in an instant he would start to cry. He needed to be alone. He needed to calm down. He needed to let it sink in.
"Don't worry, okay? It's ... it's over! I ... I will never see him again!"
Mrs. Connor looked at him sharply.
"What has he done? If he dared to touch you ..."
Casey blinked wildly.
"What? Zeke would never touch me at all. Even if he hates me for what I've done."
He couldn't hold it back any longer and started sobbing slightly.
"He is gone! He has left Herrington! Forever!"
After a short moment his mother put an arm around his shoulder and squeezed it slightly.
"Come on over into the kitchen. I will make you a hot chocolate!"
Casey was sitting at the table, feeling paralysed. His mom had just finished the chocolate and was now putting some of his favorite cookies - chocolate and peanut - onto a plate. It felt like a ridiculous dream.
His world was upside down. Everything was over! He hadn't expected that it would hurt this much. He hadn't thought that it would be so irretrievable. Nothing was like it should be any longer. Zeke was gone for good! Mr. Brown had dumped him and would not support his art projects any longer. His father was mad and had barely spoken to him during the last three days.
Only his mother hadn't changed. She made hot chocolate, as always when he felt down.
"Thanks," he murmured, when she placed the mug in front of him.
She poured a cup of coffee for herself and joined him at the table.
"So, Zeke has decided to take the easiest route, huh? At least for him!"
"What do you mean?"
"To run away and to leave it at you to deal with everything alone ... after all you have done for him this seems not fair to me!"
"Oh, you don't know anything about him," Casey huffed.
"And what does it actually matter? He is gone and I will never see him again. So be happy! This is what you wanted, isn't it?"
He didn't care in the least that he was nearly screaming. He didn't care if his mother was becoming mad at him too. He was tired of her questions and her chocolate and the whole world ...
Mrs. Connor took a deep breath, obviously trying hard to stay calm.
"Yes, you're right. We really don't know much about him. We just know what is rumored ... and this is a bit ominous. We're caring for you, Casey! We just don't want you to get involved in something which may disturb your future!"
"Like what? Like me being a disgusting fag?"
His mother straightened up.
"Casey! It's enough! I understand, you are a bit distraught, but I don't want you to talk like this. Are we clear?"
"So what! Everybody is thinking like this. Even dad. But you can't blame Zeke for it. You just can't!"
His mom looked at him pensive.
"Do you really believe this? That it is just because of you being gay? Your father loves you more than anyone else, no matter what you are and what you do. You should know this! He's not mad at you. He's not even mad at Zeke.
It's the way he had to find out. In a police office. In front of a stranger. This is something highly personal, Casey, and it felt like a slap right into his face that you never told us before.
Of course, he is a bit worried about your future now, but first of all he is hurt that you apparently don't trust him any longer."
Casey sank back into his chair, looking tense and small.
"Yeah," he whispered.
"It hit him like a bombshell!"
"What do you mean?"
"Zeke! I told him once that I didn't know how to tell you about all this. And he said: Tell them point-blank. They care for you, they will get over it. But don't wait to long. One day it will hit like a bombshell and then ... yeah ...
I guess I have waited too long, right?"
His mom looked surprised.
"I think so, yeah. Zeke is a smart boy!"
A barely noticeable smile sneaked onto Casey's lips.
"He's not as shallow as most people think he is. Only he doesn't like to show it. It's difficult for him to trust others enough to open up a bit."
He swallowed hard, the smile vanished again.
"He trusted me! And I betrayed him. He will never forgive me for that!"
He tried to fought back his tears, but his eyes were still looking glossy. His mother put her hand onto his arm and squeezed it slightly.
"Tell me: what du you think you could have done different?"
"I should have kept my mouth shut," Casey murmured.
"Never ever he wanted to come out in Herrington. I knew that! I knew he would hate it. I had no right to tell."
"And if you hadn't done so, what would have happened?"
"At least he would still be here!"
"Maybe. And probably in prison!"
Casey stared at his mother, while she continued.
"If Officer Davis hadn't believed you. If they had put Zeke to trial and sentenced him. For something you know he hasn't done. Could you live with this?"
Casey didn't need to think about it.
"No! No, I couldn't. It would kill me!"
"See! You've done right, Casey. You've told the truth, no matter what this means for you. Zeke could run away, you can't! You've risked a lot for him. And if Zeke isn't totally stupid he should be proud to have a friend like you. You think, he is stupid?"
Nearly against his will Casey chuckled slightly.
"No, he isn't!"
His mom smiled back.
"Good! Then give him a little bit time to think it over ... And in the meantime ... well, I need still go to the mall today. I could need a helping hand!"
Casey cringed inwardly. So, time to go back to normal life?! As if it would be that easy. He was not sure, if his life would ever go back to usual routine. School. Homework. His books. His photo work. His dreams. But no Zeke any longer! Zeke had changed his life. He had shown him how wonderful it could be. Together with Zeke he felt free and strong, ready for everything. He knew, he would miss him. His soft voice, his deep laughing, his caressing hands. Just everything. He sighed. Even if talking to his mom had eased his mood a bit, he was not convinced that Zeke would ever talk to him again. That he would ever see him again. And it hurt. It fucking hurt.
Finally he forced himself to stand up.
"Okay. Mall then. I guess, I've nothing better to do."
Probably his mom was right. He couldn't shut himself away in his room for the rest of his life. He needed to move on ... with or without Zeke ...
go to part 39