But I hope you want to read a bit more of our boys, because here is the part of "Pictures". Have fun with it!
Title: Pictures (21 / 32 )
Fandom: Casey / Zeke
Rating: just to be sure NC 17 (mostly because of the mention of underaged sex)
Disclaimer: of course, not mine
Previous parts: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen / eighteen / nineteen / twenty /
Casey had put his arms around Zeke's neck, but he freed himself from the embrace.
"Stop it, Casey, please! We won't do this, okay?"
"I want you!"
Casey felt empty and desperate. Things weren't going quite the way he had expected it. Zeke didn't take him into his arms, Zeke didn't kiss him, Zeke didn't carry him over to the bed to ... whatever. Zeke was ready to leave him. But he didn't want to let him go. He couldn't!
"I know, I want you!"
Zeke took a deep breath and turned back to Casey. He was so incredibly sweet in his desperate determination, with these pleading, deep-blue eyes. It was so hard to resist him. But it was the best for both of them.
"Case, this is damned stupid! You don't even know what you are talking about. And I'm not gonna fuck you ... do you get it?"
Casey snorted sadly.
"Do you think I'm so naive? I know what I am, Zeke! I know that I am gay. And I know what gays are doing together. I just want to know how it feels. I'm so fed up just dreaming about it. Sometimes, when I wake up at night ... I'm ... I'm jerking off ... and I can't stop thinking about you ... I want you ... I want you ..."
He broke off and regarded Zeke with narrowed eyes.
"This is quite pathetic, isn't it? I'm dreaming about the sexiest guy of Herrington High ... my best friend! ... Are you still my friend? Or did I fuck things up? Do you think, I'm just a ridiculous, little geek?"
This was too much. Without hesitating any longer, Zeke pulled him into his arms. He could feel how Casey flinched back, but he held him tight, not ready to let go him again.
"You are not, Casey. You are curious and this is okay. Just a little bit too eager. You're ready to bash your head against a wall. But there is no need to. You don't want me to go? Ok, I'm gonna stay here. I am your friend, Casey, I will always be. And if you really want me, it can be more. But, please, stop this bullshit! I can't fuck you now! It would just freak you out. It would break you."
"This sounds as if it would be the worst of the world!"
Zeke pulled him even closer to himself. His face was so near to Casey's now, that he could feel his warm breath when he answered.
"God, no! But you must be ready for it, Casey. No anxiety, no timidity, not even thoughts ... just feelings. Feel it ... feel it ... feel it ... and you're gonna love it. It can be the best feeling of the whole world!"
He loosened his embrace and hesitated a moment before he continued.
"But not now, Casey. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I would just hurt you. You would hate me for what I did to you!"
Casey scrutinized him skeptically. Something in his voice, in his expression had changed. He sounded so tired, so embittered, so tensed up.
"What has happened?"
"Who has hurt you? What has he done to you?"
Zeke took a deep breath.
"I believe, I should be more careful about what I tell you. You see a lot too much!"
"What has happened," Casey just repeated.
Zeke sighed. He really didn't want to talk about it. He had never spoken about it. It would make him vulnerable if he did. But he knew Casey's stubbornness when it came to things like this. And maybe he owned him an explanation. He leaned back on bed, lit a cigarette and closed his eyes.
"It was a few weeks after my fourteenth birthday," he murmured.
"I was in the third boarding school within two years, I was furious, I was lonesome. And I was curious. I had already made out with a girl. It was nice, but ... I had the feeling that there had to be more. Then I've met him.
He was older than me. He was lousy with cash. He had an own apartment in town. He had a car, a Chevy Camaro. And he gave me the feeling that I was someone special. It has felt great. I could forget my damned father, I could school let be school.
One weekend it happened. I had sneaked out of school once again. He took me to a party. It was my fucking first time and I felt great. Booze, speed. And a lot of guys who were keen on me. It was late in the night and I was pretty high when he took me home .... Believe me, Case, I had already done a lot of shit before. I was so sure, that I was ready for everything. But I was so damn wrong. ... He was an asshole. He fucking gave a shit about me.
I vanished immediately afterward ... I felt so used and betrayed ... and I've sworn to myself that never ever again anyone else would hurt me like this ... From that day on I turned into the biggest asshole of the whole school. I've used everyone. I fucked around with nearly every girl - without thinking, without feelings. Just fuck them, hurt them and dump them ... because it was so much easier to hurt other people than to risk getting hurt myself again."
He fell in deep silence and after a while Casey put his hand on his arm tentatively.
"This was not you, Zeke," he whispered.
"You were fourteen. You were alone. No one was ready to help you. But things changed, right? You're not like this anymore. You would never hurt me!"
Zeke looked up and relaxed a bit.
"No, no I would never do this to you. But maybe you should face up with the facts. I'm not an angel, Casey. I knew exactly what I do. It felt so damned good to give back all he had done to me. I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of ....
.... Then I met James. He changed things. He changed me. I was such a loose cannon. And he was fascinated by me. He wanted me ... he really wanted me.
I didn't trust him first. But he was so stubborn. Almost like you. If he wanted to get something, he wanted to get something. And finally I threw in the towel. I'd never met someone like him before. He showed me how fucking great it can be. To fuck with someone, not to hurt one, not to betray one, just to fuck and to have fun. To give as much as you take ...
We were together nearly for half a year, until they've got wind of our relationship in school. They dropped me out. My Dad let me come back to Herrington and I've never seen him again. End of the story."
Casey swallowed. He was not sure if he liked what he heard. Zeke's voice sounded so warm and pleased when he talked about this guy.
"You like him, eh? Do you miss him?"
Zeke chuckled a little bit and cocked an eyebrow.
"What ... jealous? You don't have to be! It's some years ago ... and I actually hardly knew him. Most of the time we've just spent in his bed! His head was full of damn hot, kinky ideas! It was a fucking great time - but it was all about sex! We both knew that it wouldn't last forever."
Casey pulled the face and sighed slightly.
"I'm not a hot, kinky guy. I'm just geeky Casey Connor!"
Zeke let his thumb glide slowly over his chin and his cheek.
"Do you still want me, Casey? Can you still trust me?"
Casey nodded though he felt a little bit uncertain in this moment.
Zeke bent down to gave him a smooth kiss.
"Good. We won't rush this, okay? Step by step. Baby steps - and I want you to enjoy every bit of it.
And someday, when you are really ready for it, I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna drive you crazy, Casey. I'm gonna make you cry. I'm gonna show you, how fucking hot and kinky you can be. And I promise you: you - will - love - it!"
Casey could only stare at him. The sudden twist made him speechless.
"Okay," he finally whispered in a hoarse voice.
The kiss deepened. Casey decided to stop thinking. What he knew, was enough: Zeke would stay here, Zeke wanted him, Zeke had promised to fuck him. The very thought of it made him breathless.
He melted into their kiss. Finally he dared to let his tongue sliding into Zeke's mouth. He pressed himself closer against Zeke, for more contact between them and it felt so good. He never would have dreamed that a simple hug, a little kiss could be such a hot thing.
"Okay," he finally managed to repeat.
"But ... please ... please, don't let me wait too long. Because... I so fucking need you!"
Though Zeke didn't break the kiss, Casey could feel him smiling.
Go to Part 22