It seems, a lot of you are in a writing mood ... argh ... I will read it soon, I promise. In the moment I'm reading "Broken toys" by astraplain - it's something special, because it's long, long, long (nearly 300 pages) and it's a crossover "The Faculty" and "Toy soldier" with Casey & Zeke & Billy Tepper (played by Sean Astin) and I really love the boys - all three of them :) . I don't want to read other stories beside this one.
If you are a Casey & Zeke Fan or a Sean Astin Fan or maybe both of it, you should give it a chance, it's a really good and interesting story and the boys are great ( I love, love, love chapter 33). Click here to download the whole story
Well, to make a loooong story short - I'm reading and I'm writing a bit, too. I hope, you will enjoy it, though, after my last fluffy thing this one is a bit dark.
Title: Face up to reality
Fandom: Casey / Zeke
Rating: ?? NC 17 ??
Disclaimer: of course, not mine
Casey winced as the car stopped beside him. It was the car of Zeke Tyler. Casey asked himself what he probably wanted.
Zeke didn't belong to the jocks who hounded and tormented him at school nearly every day, but he overlooked the cruelties by the others. Though it would be easy for him to intervene - everyone at school respected him - even Gabe and his football buddies.
Often enough he had watched them tormenting him, unmoved, only his eyes sparkled sometimes with a mixture of suppressed fury and disdain, which Casey didn't understand.
Neither he understood his own feelings for Zeke. He was the dream boy of most girls at school - and he was Casey's secret crush. He had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen - and he had the hottest butt. Casey knew, Zeke would never have an eye for him, but sometimes he allowed himself to dream a bit.
Casey froze, as Zeke wound down the window and started to speak. Searching he looked around. Almost he expected someone else behind him.
"C'mon, Connor, get in!"
Zeke's voice sounded huffish, he tolerated no contradiction. Casey asked himself what he had done to incur Zeke's attention on him. The thought was frightening. And he shook the head.
"No, thanks. But I prefer walking!"
He decided to take the shortcut through the wood which he normally tried to avoid since the day Gabe had ambushed him there. But he knew, Zeke would never follow him there with his car. He would be safe ....
"It's up to you! I just wanted to give you a chance to straighten the things out! There are rumors, you know ... "
Zeke's voice now sounded as he couldn't care less. He let the motor revving up. Casey stared at him bewildered. He didn't know what he should think. What was he talking about? What did he knew? It couldn't be! They had been careful. Nobody had ever seen them together. Nobody could know it, at least Zeke. But it seemed, as if he knew something ... something ... something ...
"No, no, no," it crossed his mind. If anyone at school suspected anything he would be dead.
Without thinking he opened the passenger's door.
"Zeke! Wait a minute!"
"I ... what do you want?"
"I've told you so! Get in this damn car!"
Casey took a deep breath and obeyed. Zeke accelerated and then completely focused onto the street. He didn't say a word. Casey felt silly scared. Zeke knew something. He knew something! That was for sure. And he wanted something! Casey couldn't fancy, what it would be. Unless ...
But this was impossible! Zeke could get every girl at school and there were rumors that he had already met with the one or the other boy. There was no reason, why he should try to put the bite on him. But maybe it was just for fun! The challenge to get him down. The fun to humiliate him.
Casey felt tears well up to the eyes. No! Everything, but not this! Everybody, but not Zeke! He wouldn't endure it....
"Maybe you should have done this earlier!"
Casey startled as he suddenly heard Zeke's voice. He had completely withdrawn into himself and he didn't even noticed that Zeke had stopped the car and observed him in silence.
"To cry! It's much too late now! C'mon!"
Casey swallowed hard as he recognized that they parked in front of Zeke's house. He still sniffed several times, then he dared to shook his head.
"Please, Zeke, stop this! I want to go home!"
"Just forget it, Casey! You're gonna go nowhere! You will face up this damned problem now and not run away again! Get out of the car, damn!"
Casey winced. He had heard from others how furious Zeke could become if he felt provoked, but he had never seen him so enraged. He closed his eyes and asked himself what would happen if he jumped out of the car and simply ran away.
"Don't even think of it!"
Zeke walked around the car and opened the passenger's door.
He grabbed Casey's arm and pulled him out of the car. His clutch was not too hard, but steady enough. Casey couldn't jerk himself free and run away, without attracting the attention of the whole neighborhood. He sobbed slightly while Zeke pulled him into the house.
Zeke led him into the living room and pressed him onto the couch. Casey let everything happen without contradiction. A moment later Zeke handed him a glass soda.
"Here! I think, you can need this!"
Casey took the glass and clasped it. He could feel Zeke starring at him. Just to do something he dared a sip of water, his teeth were chattering against the glass.
"Why the hell you have done it," Zeke finally asked.
Casey took a deep breath. At least his voice sounded quieter than before and Casey became a bit more courageous.
"I don't know what you are talking about," he whispered.
Zeke narrowed his eyes.
"Casey, don't try to fool me! I'm not in the mood for this!
Let us things sum up. You are gay. This is okay. If you want to try it out it, well, is quite crazy to do it just in school, but okay, if you need this sort of excitement.
But what is beyond every comprehension for me: why Michael? Beside Gabe and Rafe he is one of the biggest arseholes of the whole school! How often did they beat you up? How often they gave you a bloody nose? And last year ... it was Michael who nearly broke your arm, wasn't it?
What the hell were you thinking? Sucking his dick under the bleachers today, nearly in front of the eyes of the whole school?"
Casey winced. Up to this moment he had hoped that he was wrong. That it was something else Zeke was speaking about. He couldn't know it. He might not know it. He knew it!
"That's none of your business," he snapped desperately
Zeke shook the head and sighed hard.
"Fuck! You've really done it, right? I have hoped, it's only a new, stupid rumor in this damned school ... Casey, what the hell have he done with you?"
"Nothing at all. He does nothing at all! He doesn't even touch me! It's just about me!"
Zeke narrowed his eyes.
"Fucking great," he murmured.
"You really wanna tell me that you want to do this? That you ... like it?"
"Yeah ... No ... You can't understand!"
"Try to explain it!"
"They let me alone if I do so, " whispered Casey.
"They don't touch me any longer. ... It was a few weeks ago after the gym. I was alone in the locker room. ...Well, I thought so. I was wrong. Suddenly he was there."
Casey closed the eyes. All the time he had suppressed the memories ... he didn't want to remember... But he felt Zeke's look resting on him. He was quiet, but Casey felt, he wouldn't let him go, not before he knew the whole story.
"He has took a shower. And then ... I don't know how it has happened. He came back in the locker room, he saw me ... I couldn't move anymore.
He was naked and still damply from showering. He pushed me towards the locker and ... he didn't say anything, he just stared at me. I was so scared ....
I don't know, why I've done it! But he hasn't forced me, Zeke, he hasn't forced me. I just have done it! And he has done nothing. He just let it happen. Afterward he just said, if I tell anything about it, he would kill me!"
Casey pulled his knees up to his chest. Zeke looked at him thoughtfully. He would have liked to go over and put an arm around him. But one thought still haunted in his mind.
"This was not today!"
Casey shook the head.
"You've done it again!"
"Yeah! Three times! Two weeks later one morning he has ambushed me at the bus stop. He said, that he wanted to meet me to lunch under the bleachers. If I wouldn't come, he would go and tell it to Gabe and they would kick my ass like they never did before. But if I would come .... he wanted to stand up for me ... they would never touch me again ... "
"Yeah, this explains a lot," murmured Zeke thoughtfully.
"No black eyes any longer, no bloody nose, no flagpole in the morning, no jostle in the hall. Fuck, I knew, something was wrong! I knew it as I've seen their looks at you ... "
"Looks don't hurt," whispered Casey
"It's not so bad at all, you know ..."
"Damn, Casey," Zeke cursed.
"It's not bad that you stoop to do something that you don't want at all? With a jock who abused you for years?"
"Like I said: you can't understand," Casey interrupted him.
"You have no idea like it feels to get up every morning and to know exactly what will happen. They leave me alone, Zeke! After three years I can enter this damned school without being scared. Yes, it is easy! Five minutes, Zeke, just five minutes ... I just have to close the eyes and I can imagine ... I can imagine ... It's not so bad!"
Zeke swallowed hard.
"And what do you believe, how long will it still remains at these five minutes? What do you believe, how long will it still lasts, until the next one waits in the bus stop and says:' Five minutes, Casey ... or... ' What are you gonna do then? What will you do if sucking dick is not enough any more? If they want more? Will you close your eyes again and convince yourself that it's not so bad?"
Casey stared at him. He started to tremble.
"They won't do this!" he whispered nearly inaudible.
"They're not gonna hurt me ever again!"
"Stop fooling yourself, Casey! It's merely a matter of time - and you know this! It will never end. Highschool, College, work ... there will always be people like Gabe or Michael. People who use your weakness, people who abuse you ... You must stop it, Casey! Stop it now! Show them that are not willing to play their fucking games any longer ..."
He knew, Zeke was right. He had always known it. But he hadn't wanted to see it, he didn't want to think about how it should go on. He just wanted a few more days without fear.
He felt deep hatred for Zeke because he had taken all his illusions from him with only a few words - and he felt the deepest desperation which he had suppressed for so long.
"I can't," he cried out.
"I fucking can't stop them!"
At the next moment Zeke held him into his arms, he gave him a feeling of understanding and security which he had never known.
"Shshsh. It's okay. You can, Casey. I know this! You are strong enough. ... And if you need me, I will be there. So help me Casey, they will never ever touch you again."
Casey stiffened in his arms. Though Zeke sounded earnest and honest, Casey was still full of mistrust.
"Why should you do this? You don't give a shit about me!"
Zeke shook the head.
"It looks like this, doesn't it? But nothing could be further from the truth!"
"What do you mean? You always ignore me!"
"Yeah, I do! Because I'm so scared of you!"
Casey laughed briefly.
"Oh, come on. This is ridiculous!"
Zeke smiled sadly.
"You think so?"
Carefully he bent forward and gave Casey a light kiss onto his mouth. Casey stiffened in every movement. Zeke stroked softly over his cheek with his thumb.
"Do you know, how long I already wanted to do this? But I was not able to do it! I had to lose a rep, you know? They call me "The Zeke", the coolest boy of Herrington High. Everyone respects me. No one dares to bother me with shit. Not even the teachers.
I was so fucking afraid to lose this. Who would have still taken me serious me, Case? Who would have still accepted me if they had known that I'm gay and I just want you, the loser, the nerd, the geek?"
Casey hardly tried to arrange his mind. But this was too much. All what happened during the last hour was too much.
"So I decided to ignore you, " continued Zeke.
"I ignored it when they have hit the shit out of you. Every day! Again and again and again! Sometimes it was so hard to bear it, but I just turned away and closed my eyes. And I started to hate you for doing nothing.
That's it, Casey! I'm not better than they. I could have helped you. But I just acted like a cowardly arsehole, who cared more about his rep than about you!"
For a while both were quiet, lost in thoughts. Then Casey reached for Zeke's hand tentative and entwined their fingers.
"It's okay" he whispered.
"Don't be mad about you. I know the feeling of being scared. I know a lot about closing your eyes for reality."
"You don't despised me?"
Casey smiled slightly.
"No, I could never do this. You know, you are the one who makes my life bearable. When they tormented me, I just had to close my eyes and I could see you ... and it wasn't so bad any more."
"Oh Case ... I'm so ..."
But Casey put his thumb onto Zeke's mouth.
"No! Now you are here, Zeke. Now I'm here.That's all what counts. We both have said things we never wanted to tell anyone. Maybe together we can be strong enough to face up to reality. It's worth a try, isn't it?"