Title: Discoveries (1)
Fandom: Casey / Zeke
Rating: PG 13
Disclaimer: of course, not mine
Saturday evening. Casey went over to Zeke for a long DVD evening. But he was obviously not in the mood to enjoy the movies. Finally Zeke switched off the television.
"So, tell me, Case! What's wrong?"
"You're so moody all along. Close-lipped. Bitchy. You've hardly touched the pizza, but you have your third bottle of beer. And the movie ... "
"The movie is a shit!"
"You wanted to watch! You love Woody Allen!"
Casey threw a wry look at him. Then he got up and reached for his jacket.
"What are you doing?"
"You're a pain, Zeke! I'm gonna go home. I just wanna be left in peace!"
He wanted to leave the house, but Zeke slammed the door in his face.
"Stop this shit, Casey! Tell me what has happened! It's Peg, isn't it?!
"To hell with Peg!"
Zeke pulled him back to the living room and forced him onto the couch again.
"It didn't work so well yesterday, did it?"
Casey pulled a face and sighed.
"Nothing has happened, okay!"
"She didn't let you do it? Shit happens, Case! Girls are like this! They want to be conquered!"
Casey stared at him. His eyes were a mixture of annoyance and insecurity.
"She wanted, but ..."
Zeke started to understand.
"Yeah. Oh! What's wrong with me, Zeke? First Del! Now Peg! She is pretty, isn't she? She is nice, she is smart and she wanted me. It's always the same lame story! First everything is okay. We can talk, we have fun, we kiss each other ... "
He hesitated for a moment. Then it blurted out of him what he had been keeping secret all along.
"I like to kiss them! I mean, it's ... nice ..., but .... but I can't get rid of the hollow feeling that something is wrong. And yesterday ... she has started stroking me and ... oh God ... she ... she took my hand and laid it on her boobs. It was all too obvious what she wanted and I ... "
Casey took a deep breath.
"I broke away and run! I wasn't able to do differently, Zeke! I couldn't think clearly any more! I just wanted to run away!.... Oh God, she'll tell it all around! I'll never ever go to school again!"
Zeke grinned slightly.
"Trust me, she will keep quiet! It's all too embarrassing to be abandoned!"
"It's embarrassing to be afraid of a girl! I knew exactly where this would lead to and suddenly I only felt panic .... "
"If I continue acting in such a way, I'm gonna end as a lonely virgin!"
Zeke looked at him thoughtfully.
"Maybe you're looking at the wrong place!"
"Have you ever dated a guy, Case?"
Casey's glance flickered.
"What sort of question is this? You know, we're hanging out together almost every weekend!"
"That's not the point, Case! Have you already kissed a boy?"
Casey became bright red.
"You are totally crazy, you know!"
"Really? So, tell my, why are you looking at the boy's arse and not at the tits of the bitches at school?"
"Oh, stop this bullshit, Zeke! I've never done this!"
"Of course you do! But don't worry about it, you can hide it quite well! I'm sure, no one will notice it. But don't try to fool me! I'm your best friend - I know you better than you know yourself!"
"But I would never .... "
Casey broke off and stared at Zeke. He was his best friend - he knew him all too well - and it didn't make sense to try to pull the wool over his face. To fool himself even longer.
"So what! I am a weird geek, good for kidding around and for using as a punching ball. Now I am still a pervert, little fag, too! Great!"
Zeke narrowed his eyes.
"This is bullshit, Case! You are just what you make of yourself! Don't try to be what you can't be! This will never make you happy!"
"You can talk! No one laughs about you! Everyone respects you!"
"Yeah! But it hasn't always been like that! There was enough shit to deal with! But I didn't bury my head in the sand, Case! I have struggled against it ... and I'm still doing it until today - against all, against myself!"
"You're not gay, Zeke! Do you know what they're gonna do with me?"
"I don't talk of a coming out, Case! But you will have to find out for yourself who you really are! It's your life, you know!"
"This is not so easy! You have no clue of all this.You don't know how it feels to be the eternal loner!"
"Believe me, I can understand better than you think. I am bi!"
"You are... Oh God!"
Casey stared at him bewildered.
"You don't say this just to calm me down, do you?"
"Nope! It needed a while admitting it to myself, too. But it has become easier, since I know who I am. You can live with it, Casey! It's shocking?"
Casey shook his head. Shocking? No! Surprising? Yes! He had seen Zeke always as a heartthrob who enjoyed flirting around with every girl. Never ever he would have figured out that he also could be interested in guys.
"Naw! But ... this is not you!"
"Nevertheless it was always a part of me! I'm the same as ever, Case! I'm bi. But this doesn't make me to be a monster! I am what I am! You are what you are!"
Casey looked at him thoughtfully. Zeke could feel his head spinning around. Finally he looked up.
"So ... were you already ... together with a guy? Did you get laid with someone?"
"Do I know him?"
"Nope! It's not too clever to do something like that in Herrington! I am mostly in a club in Mansfield ... Maybe I could take you with me some day!"
"I don't know!"
"You don't have to. Take all the time you need, Case. And if you wanna talk: I am here!"
"Okay! Thank you, Zeke! Hrm ... Can we watch the movie now?"
TBC - read Part two