Title: I am scared
Fandom: The Faculty (slightly AU)
Character: Casey / Zeke
Word Count: 1051
Prompt: any, any, I'm scared of what I saw. I'm scared of what I did, of who I am...
Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own The Faculty nor the character :( - I'm just borrowing them for a while
Casey was cowering on the bleachers like he had done for years when he tried to stay out of the way of the jocks during lunch break; usually, they had found him anyway and had used him as a punching ball. Some months ago Mary Beth had changed everything. The night where Aliens had tried to take over the world and Casey had turned into a hero. He had killed the alien queen and had saved most of the others at school.
Suddenly everyone wanted to be his best friend; Delilah had kissed him and told everyone that he was the boy she loved; the media crowded around his home in the hope to get one more pic or even an interview by him; his parents send him from one shrink to the other because they were sure that he finally had lost his sanity ...
Casey squeezed his eyes shut. Why couldn't they understand that all he wanted was to be left alone? He didn't feel like a hero. He felt confused and scared. More alone than ever before. And guilty, for killing an intelligent, desperate creature. She hadn't been a monster; he knew this, he had shared her thoughts and feelings for a split of a second, when she had thrown her spawn at him in the moment she realized it was over. The hopeless try to save at least her children but when her life faded away her descendants died with her.
„Hey, geek boy. What's going on?“
Casey swallowed. Zeke! Maybe he was just hallucinating. The last time he had seen him had been in his garage, during the alien incident. When everything was over it was as if Zeke had vanished into thin air. The house of the Tyler's was empty. The GTO was gone. He didn't show up at school or elsewhere. There were rumors that he had left Herrington behind forever. Forever …
Hesitating he opened his eyes and glanced at the tall guy in front of him; he was still looking like before, tight jeans, long sleeved shirt, the hair a bit too long and obviously cut by himself. And he smiled, how could he still smile after all that had happened? Then Casey noticed the dark glimmer in his eyes, a glimmer he had never noticed before.
„You are back,“ he said.
Zeke shook his head.
„I won't stay. But I had the feeling that you need me.“
„I don't need you. Not anymore.“
Zeke dropped down onto the wooden bench beside Casey.
Casey turned his head and stared at him with deep blue eyes.
„Sorry for what? For running away? For just moving on and leaving me behind? Don't worry, Zeke, I don't blame you. Whatever happened between us in this night, it was just the desperate try to hold on to life. Best you could do was to forget everything by leaving all this shit behind.“
Without any sound suddenly tears run over his face, his body started to tremble all over. Once again he wished he would have acted differently, back then, under the bleachers. What, if he had just let it happen, that Mary Beth took him over? Could it be worse than his momentary life?
When he felt Zeke's arms around him, he tried to fight him. No, he didn't want this, too much nearness and it brought back the memories. In this night, when Mary Beth had tried to take over the word, Zeke had held him in his arms, too, while he made love with him. Desperately they had been clinging to each other, a wild ride up to a climax which had almost made Casey faint. But instead of giving in into the aftermath he just did stand up and grabbed for the last pens of scat on the lab table.
Stokely's words still in his head.
„The only way to stop the aliens is to kill the queen. The scat should dehydrate her body and without water, they seem to be non-viable.“
Zeke hadn't even made the try to protest when he left the garage to go back to school. The last time he had seen him.
Up to now. This time he wasn't willing to let him go; he held him with strong arms, close to his chest and his fingers were running over Casey's back gently.
„I couldn't, Case,“ he murmured, almost to himself.
„I couldn't stand up and fight. All the time I had to pretend to be tough but the truth is, you are so much stronger than me. I was scared to death of what was going on. I was scared of what I did. Do you know, that I kissed her?“
He paused for a moment, resting his chin on Casey's head.
„I've kissed a fucking alien queen, Case, and I wasn't sure anymore of who I actually am.
All I could think about was to run. I got into the GTO and left everything behind; I was on the road all the time. Just driving, you know, it always kept me sane when the craziness of my life was just too much. Just me and the GTO. I've managed it to avoid every news and to convince myself that everything had been just a stupid nightmare. It had to. Because the truth was just too horrifying.
I guess, I was always good with it to fool myself. But then, out of the blue, there was a pic of you in the newspaper. I could read in your eyes, you were smiling but inwardly you felt as confused as I still do. The realization hit me, that I am a fucking coward. I'm the loser, Casey, I always was. And you have every right to hate me.“
„I don't hate you!“
The voice almost a whisper; finally Casey gave in, put his arms around Zeke's neck and kissed him. For the first time since this night, he felt almost relaxed, safe, comforted. Maybe there still was a chance for a future, maybe one day he would leave this nightmare behind and learn to be happy again.
„I've tried but it didn't work. The more I tried to hate you the more I've missed you.
Take me with you, Zeke, back on the road. You and me, just driving. Maybe together we can find the courage for a new start.“