Whatever, fic-fun! Much better than to lament.
Title: Samantha - part 3
Fandom: Zeke & Casey
Author's note: AU - The boys have great future plans ...
Disclaimer: of course, not mine
previous parts here
- three -
Casey kept quiet for a while time.
"I was only seventeen," murmured Zeke.
"Not ready for a serious relationship. The thought of being married freaked me out."
But he knew all too well this sounded like a cheesy excuse. He hadn't thought about Kat's feelings. He had used her as long as it was fun and when it got serious he had left her like a gutless prick.
He glanced back to the letter and was still not sure what to think of it. Why, after all this time? Why had Kat asked the pastoral care for help ... she hated everything that had to do with religion, he knew this. Why didn't she write herself? And what could, what should he do now?
"Did you call them?"
He looked up, right into Casey's inquiring eyes.
"I don't know. Maybe it's better to let this rest."
"Did you read the letter?"
Casey's voice was sharp while he reached for it and threw it down in front of him. Zeke winced.
"Read it, Zeke, read it again! She needs you! She has a hard time and she wants to see you. How can you be reluctant to call?"
Zeke blinked nervously.
"You want me to go to her?"
A slight smile crept on Casey's lips. Better as if he was so mad at him, much better.
"I want you to do what you need to do," he said.
"I know you, Zeke, you will never get over it if you don't go. What you did to her was low, but you were in panic. I'm sure you never wanted to hurt her.
So, go and talk to her now. Might be good for both of you!"
Zeke nodded slowly.
"Guess you're right," he admitted.
But before he made the phone call, he had to do something else. He turned to Casey and pulled him into his arms.
"Thank you. For being the best boyfriend ever!"
"But ... I just got the letter ... one hour ago!"
Zeke couldn't believe what he had just found out. No, he must gotten it all wrong.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Tyler, all what we could find out was your old address in Herrington," explained the young woman on the other side of the line.
"It obviously needed some time to deliver the letter to your effective address."
Three weeks. Zeke stared at the stamp of the letter. Three fucking weeks. He felt Casey's eyes resting on him, curious and worried and he faintly shook the head.
"Yes, I understand," he said to the young woman on the phone.
"Anyway, thank you for trying."
"One moment, please. Here is still a small package with your name on it. We found it among her things. I could send it to you if you're willing to give me your address."
First he wanted to decline. What sense would it make yet? It was too late. All he wished was that this letter had never found its way to Columbus. It would lie somewhere in a mailbox in Herrington until someone else would find it and dump it into a bin. And he would never have gotten to know about it ...
"Millers Avenue, 23, apartment 257," he said.
Then he said goodbye and hung up. Casey took a deep breath.
"What did she say," he asked, though he already knew the answer.
"It's too late. She's dead!"
Zeke could feel shivers running through his body. Dead. This word was so definite. He would never be able to say 'sorry' to her.
"She died one week ago. They say, it was a cord spinal tumor. Incurable. It was over quick. She didn't suffer much."
He was not as tough as most people thought he was. Without Casey he would probably have wallowed in self-pity and self-contempt for the next days. It felt as if had betrayed Kat not once, but twice.
And he had hurt Casey. But Casey still loved him. He did everything to cheer him up. Homemade dinner, Zeke loved his spaghetti with tomato-garlic-sauce. The newest DVD's. A long, wonderful weekend spent in bed together.
He almost started to get over it when the big envelope arrived. Casey was still in the library because he wanted to look up something about art and modern architecture. Zeke looked at the package and turned it to and fro. He was a bit afraid of what he would find in it. If Kat had forgiven him or if she would blame him for what he had done.
Finally he decided to open it. He wanted to bring this to an end. Kat was dead. She was history. He couldn't make it undone. It was time to move on with his life. Together with Casey. For Casey.
He didn't thought that it could get even worse.
It surprised him when he pulled a videotape out of the envelope. It was a self-made tape, the cover unlabeled. The small box. He recognized it and knew what he would find inside. Without opening it he put it aside. Finally he reached for the letter. A long one, the handwriting sometimes a bit unstable. But she needed to tell him ...
Zeke didn't reach the end of the letter. He was half through it when he felt panic rushing through his body. He grabbed everything, the letter, the small box, the tape, shoved it back into the envelope and stormed outside to the bin. For a second he felt relieved when the lid thunk shut. It was over. And Casey would never get to know from the existens of this package ...
In the same moment he knew how wrong he was. He couldn't run away from this like he had done from Kat. He opened the bin, took the envelope back again. Carried it upstairs into the little storage room beside the bedroom. Put the tape carefully into the box with his old pics. Memories. Memories he would have dumped already a long time ago. If not Casey had stopped him.
"This is your past," he had said.
"It's a part of you, Zeke."
He didn't need to watch the video. He knew it anyway. This video also was a part of his past. And his present. And his future. This video could destroy his life.
go to part 4