Previous Entry Share Next Entry
M-smith-heart
prisca1960

FanFiction Jeremiah // Countdown


Titel: Countdown
Character: Mr. Smith
Words: 274
A/P: This story tries to answer the question: What happened am 8.59 o'clock ( The clock )

revised story January 2016


It was 8.38 o'clock when he saw the bridge for the first time. It was narrow, the wooden planks were old, the cords were disrupted. For ages, no one had cared for it. It would have been smart to make a detour and to wander around the lake. But he didn't want to be smart.

It was 8.49 o'clock when he entered the bridge. The planks creaked under his weight. The bridge swayed. The wood under his feet was slippery. But he didn't turn round. He felt no fear. Why should he?

It was 8.51 o'clock when he stopped in the middle of the bridge and stared down into the abyss. The lake seemed to be endless. The rising sun sparkled golden on the dark green water. He felt attracted from the silence and the peace of this scenery.

It was 8.54 o'clock when he decided to end his life. He had fought, he had hoped, he had loved - and he had lost everything. There was nothing that still held him in this world.

It was 8.56 o'clock when he jumped down. When he fall he felt free, almost happy. The impact on the water was painful. Instantly he started to sink, deep and deeper. He couldn't swim. For a split of a second, he wished to turn back time, back into the house of his childhood, when the life had been so easy. But then the darkness came and he found the peace he longed for so desperately.

It was 8.59 o'clock when he heard the voice for the first time. God said: "Not yet! There is still so much to do!"

  • 1
A chilling thought that the time on the watch was related to when Smith's life was reborn!

Thank you. I'm glad, that you like the idea. First I thought the clock ceased to work when the "Big Death" began - but I wanted a connection between Smith and the clock. So this seemed to be the right moment.

I went and read the English version, Prisca, and it's wonderful. I could feel his desperate longing for peace.

Thank you, Mews. For reading and commenting. I'm glad, that you like it.

Es ist wunderschön... ich bin einfach sprachlos und hey, dein English ist sehr sehr gut! Ich hab's natürlich auch gelesen. Und beide ausgedruckt.
Danke! Das ist so eine kleine Geschichte, nach der ich keine andere mehr lesen mag.
Gute Nacht, mein Herz! Schlaf schön und träum süß!

Danke, Julchen, ich freu' mich immer, wenn meine kleine Schreibselei irgendwem gefällt.
Über mein "gutes" Englisch rede ich lieber nicht - na ja, wenn man bedenkt, das ich zuletzt in der Schule Englisch gesprochen habe und das ist schon ein paar Jährchen her (auch schon ein paar mehr) und es seitdem eigentlich nie wirklich gebraucht habe, denke ich, es geht so. Verstehen tue ich jedenfalls mehr als ich ausdrücken kann.

  • 1
?

Log in